WEEK 68


I grew up with George Carlin and his "seven dirty words." He was clearly more than a comedian. Who could refute that he was part philosopher/social critic. Below is a short
paragraph encapsulating some of the significance he had as a pop icon. This is subsequently followed by a dozen and a half of his more memorable zingers.

George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, philosopher, satirist, actor, and writer/author who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.[1] Carlin was noted for his black humor as well as his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven Dirty Words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 5–4 decision by the justices affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves.
 

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
Some people see things that are and ask, why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that. The previous two liner satirizes the famous Robert F.Kennedy quote “Some people see things as they are and ask, why? I dream of things that never were and ask, why not?”
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they’re cramming for their final exam.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin
Always do whatever’s next.
— George Denis Patrick Carlin

Misc. Quote

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass... It’s about learning to dance in the rain.
— Vivian Greene
Be proud of who you are.
— Eminem