Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
— Abraham Lincoln
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
— Mark Twain
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
— Lucille Ball
If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.
— Carl Sagan
The future is much like the present, only longer.
— Dan Quisenberry
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
— Frank Lloyd Wright


Miracles do not, in fact, break the laws of nature.
— C. S. Lewis
Eagles come in all shapes and sizes, but you will recognize them chiefly by their attitudes.
— E. F. Schumacher


I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.
— Auguste Rodin
Painting is self-discovery. Every good artist paints what he is.
— Jackson Pollock
Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
— Paul Gauguin
There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.
— R. Buckminster Fuller
I plan to live forever, so far so good.
— Steven Wright 1955- Never.....
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
— Steven Wright
Everywhere is in walking distance if you have the time.
— Steven Wright
It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.
— Steven Wright
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
— Steven Wright
What’s another word for Thesaurus?
— Steven Wright

Smoking cures weight problems.... eventually...
— Steven Wright
I wrote a few children’s books...not on purpose.
— Steven Wright
When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I’d tell him he used to have a brother but he didn’t obey.
— Steven Wright